“No amount of me trying to explain myself was doing any good. I didn't even know what was going on inside of me, so how could I have explained it to them?” ― Sierra D. Waters, Debbie. My site at Moonlightblue is mostly concerned about the days prior to 1998, and some of my good times since the move to Wales.  Life now in Pembrokeshire is essentially "enforced" due to to being diagnosed with P.T.S.D and acute depression, panic attacks and attempted suicides over the last 20 years (first time I have admitted that to the world)  my time now revolves around my  new wife our cats and a little bit of  community work when I can, and working with my computers to hopefully help others, although it’s hard enough to help myself.  …more soon


We must honour, protect and support our police officers and their families every day of the year. Janet Reno First memories start in Cringleford Norwich, then Hethersett , the police house is still there on the old A11. We then moved on to the wonderful peace of  Walsingham, Norfolk, a great place  well worth a visit, check out this great new and developing site www.walsingham-memories.co.uk We then moved to Old Catton Norwich, this move was so dad could help form the Norfolk Police Dog Section in the early 60s.. The Police House was like a prison camp, old Karl was not to be toyed with. My past employment included a spell in the Royal Air Force Regiment and then Norfolk Police, including my introduction to computers via the Police National Computer Centre in Hendon, lots more could go in here, but. Then off I went to complete over20 yr in the hospitality business at all levels until the switch was clicked and hell took over

Welcome…….I think

20 years on most seem to label “PTSD with acute depression” as “nothing” “Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.” . Danielle Bernock, Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals
MY STORY For me and others who can’t or won’t see! This when I feel ready will be part of the site that may be my notes and diary of my last 20 years of this debilitating illness, I will be sorting through notes and other documents  to help me see what has happened. This illness  has lost me almost half my life some great friends, family and work….now in 2017 what will come next……….well there is more to come..after 20 years of unfulfilled life  is to be that our illustrious government has come up with the ultimate solution, if you have a mental illness and you try to help yourself you may find yourself in the courts…but maybe the threat alone could instigate the self induced “euthanasia” of this and other disabled or disadvantaged   souls by there own hand, we shall see


Unfortunately, only slightly more than a third of people with PTSD are in some kind of treatment. There are a number of effective treatments for PTSD and treating PTSD can lead to improvements in other areas of your life. For example, when people successfully treat their PTSD, they often find that other disorders go away as well (although their other conditions may require specific, targeted treatments).
“Don’t let the bastards grind you down” Longfellow D





So what is or was “Catsaudit” well it derives from my company in the distant past Catering and Allied Trade Services. Catsaudit was our hospitality management, stocktaking and operation development wing. Catswebcom was as the name sugests website development, marketing and IT.
This site is dedicated to everyone and anyone who didn’t know or didn’t care about my mental suffering over the past 28 years

“I must stop remembering... The more I remember, the greater my agony. These thoughts stuttered in my mind..

I must be more watchful, I told myself. I must shut them out. I couldn't always keep this up.”

― Sonali Deraniyagala, Wave

When I say can’t take on even one more thing, I really need you to understand I really just can’t.”…..unknown